Being unemployed will do that to you.
But it's surprising how quickly some things change, in ways you'd never expect them to. In fact almost always in ways you never expect. I don't think the first two months of 2009 and the last two could have been anymore at contrast with the middle eight than they ended up being. The details aren't important, but 2009 was pretty much a load of soft and tasty egg salad nestled between two painfully stale pieces of pumpernickel. And once you eat it, it's gone.
And perhaps even more unsettling than looking back on a year gone by, is wondering what's to come in the next. Will you find love, success, good health - or will you lose it? Within the next twelve months, our questions will inevitably be answered, and we'll find our selves looking back on it all again, and in turn, wondering about the future.
With all of this weighing on my mind, on New Years Day I headed to Chinatown to have dinner with a friend. We went to Joe's dumpling place, or whatever, which is supposed to have the best dumplings in town. The waiter was terse and in quite a hurry when taking our order. Then be brought the fried rice and two orders of dumplings that we asked for, along with some other mystery dish that we didn't order. I tell the waiter we didn't order this particular dish and he started raising his voice in disagreement. I remained adamant that there must have been a misunderstanding with our order. He makes a clicking sound with his tongue and stomps off. He brings back a menu to try and convince me that we had indeed ordered the mystery dish by pointing to it on the menu, almost yelling at this point, in the intimately crowded dining room of Joe's dumpling tourist trap. All eyes were upon us. I simply maintained that there must have been a misunderstanding, which in any other restaurant would not have been met with such impudence. I decided to wait for the check before taking further action, but by this time I was raging inside and had lost my appetite. It just really made a very unpleasant experience out of what should have been an enjoyable dinner.
Not five minutes after stepping out of Joe's dumpling hell hole, I started to feel that all too recognizable gurgle in my lower intestinal tract. After foolishly failing to heed the warning signs, I realized that this was the real deal and frantically started to look for someplace in Soho that was open and had restroom. Suddenly there was a clearing, and rising from it, a Korean grocery store shining brilliantly in the viridescent light. I made it just in time. But I ended up sitting at the eat-in cafeteria there for an hour until I was sure my stomach had settled.
It was definitely time to go home. I got a seat on the 6 train and just moments before getting off, this guy standing directly in front of me attempted a hand-switch with his large coffee, and at just the moment when an object passing between two hands is at it's most vulnerable, the train jolted, which sent his coffee flying ass-over-teat directly in front of me, spraying me with coffee literally from head to toe (as a woman screamed dramatically). So coffee boy doesn't even say anything, but runs to the other end of the train. Great.
I felt utterly defeated, afraid of what humiliating situation I would be subjected to next. I was also struck with the notion that this may simply be a foreshadowing of what the new year has in store for me. I was worried in a way that I'm usually not.
I woke up the next morning still afraid. But in the shower, I was mulling over the previous night's occurrences and I started to realize something.
The service at Joe's was really shitty, but without even having to complain further, the guy actually ended up not charging us for the mystery dish, or the Tsing Tao he never bothered to bring me.
And although I was sprayed with coffee, and it was embarrassing, most of it actually ended up on the floor of the train, and probably on coffee boy. I was able to blot most of it up with a tissue before any stains set in.
And...I didn't shit my pants!
But it's surprising how quickly some things change, in ways you'd never expect them to. In fact almost always in ways you never expect. I don't think the first two months of 2009 and the last two could have been anymore at contrast with the middle eight than they ended up being. The details aren't important, but 2009 was pretty much a load of soft and tasty egg salad nestled between two painfully stale pieces of pumpernickel. And once you eat it, it's gone.
And perhaps even more unsettling than looking back on a year gone by, is wondering what's to come in the next. Will you find love, success, good health - or will you lose it? Within the next twelve months, our questions will inevitably be answered, and we'll find our selves looking back on it all again, and in turn, wondering about the future.
With all of this weighing on my mind, on New Years Day I headed to Chinatown to have dinner with a friend. We went to Joe's dumpling place, or whatever, which is supposed to have the best dumplings in town. The waiter was terse and in quite a hurry when taking our order. Then be brought the fried rice and two orders of dumplings that we asked for, along with some other mystery dish that we didn't order. I tell the waiter we didn't order this particular dish and he started raising his voice in disagreement. I remained adamant that there must have been a misunderstanding with our order. He makes a clicking sound with his tongue and stomps off. He brings back a menu to try and convince me that we had indeed ordered the mystery dish by pointing to it on the menu, almost yelling at this point, in the intimately crowded dining room of Joe's dumpling tourist trap. All eyes were upon us. I simply maintained that there must have been a misunderstanding, which in any other restaurant would not have been met with such impudence. I decided to wait for the check before taking further action, but by this time I was raging inside and had lost my appetite. It just really made a very unpleasant experience out of what should have been an enjoyable dinner.
Not five minutes after stepping out of Joe's dumpling hell hole, I started to feel that all too recognizable gurgle in my lower intestinal tract. After foolishly failing to heed the warning signs, I realized that this was the real deal and frantically started to look for someplace in Soho that was open and had restroom. Suddenly there was a clearing, and rising from it, a Korean grocery store shining brilliantly in the viridescent light. I made it just in time. But I ended up sitting at the eat-in cafeteria there for an hour until I was sure my stomach had settled.
It was definitely time to go home. I got a seat on the 6 train and just moments before getting off, this guy standing directly in front of me attempted a hand-switch with his large coffee, and at just the moment when an object passing between two hands is at it's most vulnerable, the train jolted, which sent his coffee flying ass-over-teat directly in front of me, spraying me with coffee literally from head to toe (as a woman screamed dramatically). So coffee boy doesn't even say anything, but runs to the other end of the train. Great.
I felt utterly defeated, afraid of what humiliating situation I would be subjected to next. I was also struck with the notion that this may simply be a foreshadowing of what the new year has in store for me. I was worried in a way that I'm usually not.
I woke up the next morning still afraid. But in the shower, I was mulling over the previous night's occurrences and I started to realize something.
The service at Joe's was really shitty, but without even having to complain further, the guy actually ended up not charging us for the mystery dish, or the Tsing Tao he never bothered to bring me.
And although I was sprayed with coffee, and it was embarrassing, most of it actually ended up on the floor of the train, and probably on coffee boy. I was able to blot most of it up with a tissue before any stains set in.
And...I didn't shit my pants!
A wave of relief came over me - I had actually been quite lucky after all. Things could have been much worse, but I had only seen the misfortune that fell upon me, and not the misfortune I was actually spared. So I'm making this experience my theme for 2010. If you're yelled at by a Chinese waiter, some guy spills coffee on you, and you still don't shit your pants - it's been a fairly decent day. But seriously, I need to get some stuff done this year.
